Blog Archive/July 2009

July 16, 2009

God's Frauds

In the last few weeks, the term "spiritual advisor" has cropped up in the news with increasing frequency, specifically in regard to two famous figures: Michael Jackson and Senator Mark Sanford. While on the surface the high-pitched crooner of pop extremis and the rumbling voice of Sound Christian Values couldn't be more different, these notorious celebrities actually have several fundamental things in common: an ego the size of Argentina and Neverland combined, a massive case of self-delusion, and the notion that God is just one more person you can buy.

To the latter end, both men employed not one but lots of spiritual advisors. Jackson hopped from one to another, changing them like underwear, and Sanford has actual "teams" of spiritual advisors on call like EMT's in his two home cities, Columbia, S.C. and the District of Columbia. Which brings up the obvious question: what the hell good is a spiritual advisor when his or her disciple wears the mask of a moral Christian while indulging in an adulterous double life, or lives and dies in a drug-overdosed hell?

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July 16, 2009

Mark Sanford's Morality Lessons

God knows things are tough these days down here in South Carolina. We've got 12 percent unemployment and public schools in shambles. But don't get me wrong--we're perversely proud of our shortcomings. Use federal stimulus funds to bolster things and risk losing our bottom-rung rankings? The thought of it! So what if our dismal high school graduation rates put us 48th in the nation--there aren't jobs for graduates anyway. To top it all off, it's a torrid 95 degrees here in Charleston--that's without the flash bulb wattage courtesy of People magazine and AP stringers camped out on Sullivan's Island. And did I mention hurricane season, with a high pressure system named Maria already stirring things up off South America. Yep, another sizzling hot summer here in scandalous Jesusland South. And that means one thing: time for Vacation Bible School.

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