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January 2, 2006

Sex and the Church

Bird on July 28, 2009 10:54 PM EST writes:
I am celibate, myself. I find it easy to control any sexual thoughts and it has ben useful for self-awareness and also to have real relationship with people without sex getting in the way.

However, I have many, many Christian friends who are miserable, alone and very confused as they approach late 30's. They are damaged people because of their view that sex is bad outside of marriage, marriage which is purely secular by the way.

I digressý I've seen more damage from this abstinence theology that good. I've seen Christians completely reject God and I'm seeing Christians now who have no ability to maintain a good relationship with any person of opposite sex.

What would Jesus do? He'd put people first withotu judgement. He'd give the correct advice then move on and leave that person to learn something important about their nature.
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Randy on April 8, 2009 03:04 AM EST writes:
celibacy

I am concerned about my celibacy. I didn't ever intend to really practice it, but I am since I separated from my wife(she abused me) over a year ago. Faithfulness to her, my Lord and the church, esecially myself/faith, requires it. It is a natural consequence of some truth choices I've had to make. So, what happens to a celbate person, will the hormones turn down? I ask these mechanical questions wondering also if God is calling me to it. If my wife and I don't reconcile, and I doubt we will, (counceling, pastor's guidance) that will be my way of life. Any thoughts?
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Les on February 24, 2006 11:14 AM EST writes:
thoroughly married???

The current North American Evangelical church particularly seems to delight in getting itself into a knot over sexuality. Generally, Christians have as many, )if not more) difficulties with sexual and relationship concerns as others. My chief complaint, by way of introductory comment, is this:
Christian leaders have raised a standard to which they expect members/adherents to conform. Then, simply because none of us enjoy being rejected, people will conform "outwardly". Following this, all kinds of people are driven underground with their problems. (e.g. pre-marital sexual activities, oral sex, masturbation, extra-marital attractions/involvements, etc....) It is my experience that people are not helped very much by being driven underground. An external locus of control is not effective in assisting one toward an authentic faith.
Imposed coherence may help Christian leaders feel more comfortable, but what is really happening in the very important lives of people??!
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tony on February 8, 2006 09:32 AM EST writes:
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Bruce Meyer on January 12, 2006 09:47 AM EST writes:
WWJD re sex

Well, what would the Pharisees do? Then up the ante just a bit. Jesus pretty much endorsed the Pharisee standard and emphasized keeping the spirit of the Law. He only taught about things that had some doubt. Not much doubt about the outlines here.
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jengis patel on January 7, 2006 12:28 PM EST writes:
hearth

the unswer on this subject,and the idea of Jesus about sex can still, and easylly ,be found in Islam .
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jengis patel on January 7, 2006 11:51 AM EST writes:
hearth

jesus spoke about sex,but we wouldnt leason
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Another Richard on January 4, 2006 07:38 PM EST writes:
Who decided that sex outside of marriage wasn't OK and why? While celibacy has it's good points it seems to fly in the face of the fact humans are sexual beings, more highly adapted and presumably more intelligent than other animals. Are our attitudes about our sexuality an attempt to deny our animal origins? I don't subscribe to the creation story in the Bible as actual fact. The early biblical writers had to have some way of explaining how we came to be and their invention was as good as any at the time. Just my opinion.
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Nancy A on January 3, 2006 07:47 PM EST writes:
Maybe sexuality has absolutely nothing to do with spirituality. Maybe Jesus left it out of his teachings because it isn't important. Maybe if the churches forcused more on what Jesus *did* teach (poverty, care of others, humility, forgiveness, peace), then we would have less time to be so preoccupied with who is doing it with whom and how.
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Julia on January 3, 2006 06:06 PM EST writes:
Do we need the Bible to help us think about sex? I don't know, but the Song of Solomon always puts me in the mood.
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soma fan on January 3, 2006 02:37 PM EST writes:
Brian makes a good point. WJDK -- We Just Don't Know (What Jesus Would Do). Especially if Jesus really likes pie!
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Richard on January 3, 2006 12:26 PM EST writes:
I agree with your comment, John. We don't need the Bible to make good choices regarding sex. Turning to the Bible can help, but not in any direct, do-this or don't-do-that manner. As you point out, Jesus avoided those kinds of prescriptions.

Ultimately, we're equipped with a moral sense and we're responsible for our own actions. That, for me, is what the Bible, in its most humane teachings, is all about when it comes to issues of personal morality.
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John Spalding on January 3, 2006 11:35 AM EST writes:
Mark,

I thought the gist of my review was precisely that--that the Bible doesn't offer a clear take on sex. Mind you, this is a brief review of two books, not a detailed exploration of sex in the Bible, the complexities of which I'm well aware.

In fact, sex in the Hebrew Bible is more complex than you suggest. Marriage WAS a requirement for sex--for women. As Berry notes, married men were allowed concubines, but if, for example, a groom suspected his bride wasn't a virgin, and her parents couldn't prove otherwise, then the husband could have her stoned to death.

But your main concern seems to be the couple lines on premarital sex. I was discussing Berry's views, explaining that though Jesus (her standard for sexual morality) has nothing to say about it specifically, she reads the Bible and church tradition and concludes that all sex outside marriage is wrong. For what it's worth, I disagree.

My take: Do we even need the Bible to think sensibly and responsibly about sex?
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Mark on January 3, 2006 06:33 AM EST writes:
The biblical take on sex is not so clear cut as this article presents it. Each of the legal codes has a slightly different take on the topic. Most of them give a list of inappropriate sexual partners (relatives, animals, etc.) and leave it at that. In the Hebrew bible, marriage is a business proposition, a transaction between two families, NOT a requirement for sex. There is a whole lot of extra- and pre-marital sex going on in the bible, and while cheating on one's spouse, or helping someone else cheat on theirs, is a sin, simply having sex before marriage does not seem to be.
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Brian on January 3, 2006 04:58 AM EST writes:
WWJD?

WJDK -- We Just Don't Know
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